What's In a Name?

I have been reading a book lately titled, "I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness" by Austin Channing Brown. In her first chapter she describes an experience I have had myself about "my name [not] belonging to me." She described going to the library, a refuge to her where she was checking out some books for the next week. The librarian took her card, scanned it but saw her name was Austin and Austin was Black! Now, a girl being Austin.... okay, but a BLACK girl being named Austin? Surely this might not be correct. Austin then realizes, for the first time, that society did not believe she matched her name. She then questioned her parents about why they named her Austin. Her parents then told her the story... They knew she would be discriminated against if they knew she was black, they, "wanted to make sure you made it to the interview." The standard of excellence is a White male and so they gave their baby girl the stereotypical White male name.

Similarly, I went to the eye doctor several years ago. I sat in the eye doctors examination room and waited for the doctor to come and check my eyesight for the year. The doctor I saw is a very well known doctor in the area and has numerous commercials on both TV and Radio. When he walked in and I saw who was going to examine my eyes, I sort of thought it a privilege because the OWNER himself was going to do my exam! But then, he opened his mouth.

Doctor: "Hi, Victoria?"

Me: "Hello, doctor. How are you today?"

Doctor: "Are you sure, you're Victoria?" (while looking at my chart and back at me again)

Me: "Yes, I'm quite sure of my name. I am in my 20s after all."

Doctor: "Oh, okay...I guess."

I suppose this doctor never thought Black people could be named after royalty or people of power, or who knows what else.... but I was not expected to have my name. This happened so long ago but I remember it perfectly. I have never and will never step foot in this doctors practice again. Even when you have the White, I mean, "right" sounding name, your identity as a human is still questioned, challenged and not accepted.

I often think of my relatives and friends who have "Black" sounding names. How many things have had pass them by just because they didn't pass the initial "safety" test. And I ask myself, "what is in a name anyway? It's not like you got to pick it."