Moonlight Conversations

When I was a kid, I didn't have a lot of friends. I stayed mostly to myself and no one bothered me. I learned very quickly most people on earth are selfish. They do not really care how you are doing so long as you are there to listen to whatever it is they have to say. So, I had no one to tell my secrets to. But I also had to go to Houston every six months for a doctors appointment. I got to miss school, drive down to Houston in the early morning, have my doctors appointments in the afternoon and drive back home that evening. Often times on these drives back home or while traveling anywhere at night, I would talk to the moon.

The moon listened to me but more than that, the moon heard me. The moon wasn't judgmental; it didn't tell me that I wasn't important. It held my secrets in the strictest confidence and was always there when I needed her. When there was something going on, either with my health or with school that I could not tell anyone, I could tell the moon. I have always been expected to hold up the family; mostly because I felt like my illnesses could tear it all down. Even in my most painful experiences physically and emotionally, I had to be there for the survival of others. I comforted them, took care of them, nurtured them and loved them. The moon was that for me. It was a beacon of soft white light that said, "you mattered."

I'm not sure the real reason God created the moon and moonlight. But, it has saved me more times that I can count. My favorite place on earth to be in on the beach at night with the moonlight. Just me and the moon and the ocean. The three of us is all that is needed.

I am fortunate to have a half circle window in my bedroom. Every once in a while I'll wake up and I can see the moon through that window. She watches over me while I sleep and I feel safe, and loved, and cared for. I turn in my bed to fully look at her and talk to her like I did when I was a kid. She doesn't talk back to me like she used to...and that's okay. Maybe I've forgotten how to listen. But having those moonbeams wash over me is enough. It gives me peace. It gives me strength. It gives me love.