Sticks and Stones...

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me."

This lie taught to children was meant to teach a child that words have no power over people and that the pain associated with sticks and stones was far worse than insults. However, I disagree. Bones can heal in 6-8 weeks with proper bracing and care. You can take medicine to get rid or significantly lessen the pain associate with a broken bone. On the contrary, words that are spoken either in anger or contempt or ignorance can cut a person straight through the bone and can require years of therapy to "get over." In addition, you cannot adequately take medicine to dull out the emotional pain of a name. People who cut themselves say that the pain they felt when slicing their arms "felt" so much better than the pain of emotional trauma. It is not easily fixed in 6-8 weeks. Sometimes it can take years, decades and possibly never recovered; we just learn to adapt to that pain and wince when someone might be getting close to that sore spot.

I once had someone say something to me that was so painful, and so hurtful that it framed my entire self image. This person, who was supposed to love me no matter what, flippantly said the most cruel things possible. The worst part is they didn't even know how deeply they cut. I have never received an apology and I know I never will, but that pain and that sting is ALWAYS lurking in the back on my mind. It is the devil on the shoulder that tells me how horrible I actually am. It is the voice inside me that says, "no one cares." And time after time, when things happen beyond my control, which might even remotely prove this fear, the knife born down so long ago get just a little bit deeper in my soul.

So, I ask you, if you truly want to hurt me, please be sure to use a stick or a stone. Emotional wounds cut too deep and last too long.