Not while Black you can't! (UPDATED) 10/31/2018
It's another day in these United States and another day Black people can't just live their lives without someone getting scared and calling the cops. So, I needed to compile an exhaustive list (you see what I did there?) to find out what you CAN NOT do while being Black in America.
1). Exist
2). Have a cookout at the park with your family
3). Sleep in the common area of your residence hall
4). Move into your apartment
5). Check out of an AirBNB
6). Not "smile and wave" at White folks
7). Wearing your Sorority colors and cleaning your Adopt-A-Highway location
8). Generally doing community service
9). Sit at a Starbucks while waiting for the rest of your party to arrive
10). Buy Skittles and Arizona Tea
11). Walk on the "wrong" side of the street
12). Wear a hoodie with the hood up in the rain
13). Listen to loud music at a gas station
14). Drive
a). after swimming
b). at night
c). during the day
d). with a broken tail light
e). over the speed limit
f). under the speed limit
g). with tags a police officer has never seen before (the State Attorney Generals tag at that)
h). with tinted windows
i). with rims
j). with a White girl in your vehicle
k). With leaves on your windshield
15). Show up to your place of employment
16). Seek help after an accident
17). Asking for directions when lost
18). Waiting for a school bus to take you to your high school basketball game
19). Inspect your own property
20). Show up late for a campus tour
21). Golf too slowly
22). Laugh too loudly
23). Shop for prom clothes at Nordtrom Rack
24). Work out at your gym or a different section of your gym
25). Ask for the Waffle House Corporate telephone number
26). Buy Mentos at a gas station
27). Listen to music on your front porch
28). Eat at a restaurant if a "regular" wants your table
29). Open carry or conceal carry
30). Buy a belt at Barneys
31). Shop for a BB gun at Walmart
32). Run away from the police
33). Ask, "Why am I being detained?" or "Why am I being arrested?"
34). Reach for your ID without announcing it to the officer
35). Stand on the corner
36). Play with a toy BB gun
37). Be a 12 year old girl standing in front of your house
38). Film an officer (especially when they are breaking the law themselves)
39). Have an opinion
40). Lay on the ground with your empty hands in the air
41). Comply with officers demands
42). Surrender to the police when you have done something wrong
43). Walk out of your house
44). Have a nice house
45). Throw a temper tantrum as a kindergartner
46). Botch a science experiment
47). Run to 7-11 for snacks
48). Sell cigarattes
49). Wait for your daughter outside her elementary school
50). Breathe
51). Push your child in his stroller
52). Being a teenager and mowing the lawn
53). Shopping in general
54). Being homeless but trying to eat at Burger King
55). Taking longer than 10 minutes to go to the restroom.
56). Be 8 years old and sell bottled water outside your apartment complex.
57). Talking to your friends in a parking lot at Chili's.
58). Smoking a Newport cigarette outside your apartment.
59). Go door to door on the campaign trail as a sitting senator seeking re-election.
a). Support others on the campaign trail by going door to door in your campaign shirt and carrying literature for the candidate.
60). Stop at Subway for dinner while on vacation
61). Swim
a). In your neighborhood community pool
b). With socks
c). With more than one person of color there
62). Having a funeral
63). Be at CVS and try to use a coupon
64). Be pregnant
65). Be in your own home, minding your own business, at night, when police get off work
66). Have a mental health disorder
67). Post criticism about the police on your private Facebook page. (was considered "domestic terrorism" and the FBI came to arrest him December 2017 - Dallas, Texas)
68). Look agitated
69). Sit in your car
70). Sit in an empty classroom listening to an audio book
71). Working New Student Orientation (at your place of employment)
72). Asking a Delta employee to do their job when asking to speak to a manager.
73). Babysitting white children
74). Be 7 years old and have your backpack brush against a white woman
75). Cheering your son's soccer game
76). Be a child holding a sign that says, "stop the violence"
77). Gardening