The Saddest Moment

A few months ago I wrote about my favorite show, 24 and the new person to play the role of Jack Bauer.

I was recently reminded of a scene that to this day, gets me in the feels. The President of the United States at the time had a daughter whom he loved dearly. They spoke everyday. He included her on non-sensitive matters of national government; she truly was his heart and soul and reason for being. Even when the two characters didn't say any words on screen, the love and admiration they each had for each other in only the way fathers and daughters can have shown through loud and clear.

Towards the end of that particular season, the President was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. For the good of the country he was going to step down from his duties because it was progressing quickly. However, before he made his official announcement, this beloved daughter was murdered abroad. He brought her home instate with full military honors. It was the saddest event; to watch that old man anguishly watch his daughters casket roll off the military helicopter and be placed into the hearse. His aide stood beside him and offered some comfort. Then Mr. President leaned over, and with a flat voice said, "In a few months, I won't even remember I had a daughter."

My heart stopped and I inhaled sharply.

How could this be? How could this man, who displayed so much love not remember his daughter? But he is right. Alzheiner's is the cruelest of diseases that takes away the things that are most precious to us; our memories. In the last few years of my grandmothers life, she started down the road to forgetfulness. She couldn't remember who I was anymore; me, the third oldest of 16 grandchildren. But that was okay, I told her...as long as I remembered who she was.

And I think that became the saddest moment. Then became a fear; the fear of not being remembered and not remembering.

Is this why I work so hard? Is this why I do the things I do? And I just really trying to show that I was here? In one of the Facebook groups I'm in, I was asked what we got teased about most in school and how did you try to compensate for it. My response was, "Being seen. I was always seemed to be the butt of everyone's jokes. So, I began telling them myself; then I started believing them. That's when I wanted to disappear." But now, I don't want to be forgotten.