Que Sara, Sara.

A few posts ago I talked about becoming a Godmother and how special that was for me. Well, a few weeks later I received word that she lost the baby; she miscarried.

When I learned I was going to be a Godmom, my friend made sure I knew that this was not just her baby; it was our baby. She knows I cannot have kids of my own and she wanted to make sure I felt just as a part of this pregnancy as possible because we would share this child. Eventually, this friend would come live with me and the two of us would raise this child or so the plan went.

This friend asked me how I was doing since she lost the baby and I had to be honest... I felt like her loosing the baby was my fault. I know that makes zero logical sense but the human brain is most often illogical. I felt like she lost this baby because it is something I REALLY, REALLY wanted. The things in life I most want, I've never really received. Not that I'm not grateful for what I have, it's just I know there is so much more to life.