Waiting for us...

I don't know why I hate myself so much but it is obvious that I do. I was asked how many kids I wanted today. I told then I couldn't have children and he proceeded to give me hope and options. But there is no hope for me. I'll never be a mother or have someone turn to me and say mom. I told this person that I was "physically unable to carry a child. If I attempted, I would die; it's just that simple."

Currently, I'm watching Being Mary Jane, and this quote just came up from Joseph Campbell "We must let go of the life we planned...to accept the one that is waiting for us." I know it's fine that I can't have kids. That spot is just more tender during holidays that celebrate mothers or children. Be good to yourself.