Decisions...

I love a good meme. My friends will tell you; I have a meme for all occasions. I look up memes and store them on my phone so that when the perfect moment arises, I have the perfect meme response. I get my memes the old fashioned way, scrolling social media and making a copy of those things that make me laugh, feel sad, or think. This week I was scrolling my Facebook news feed. Someone, from a group I follow, asked the following question as a meme, "Knowing what you know now if you were given a choice to live this life, would you? Alternatively, would you choose not to exist?"

When I was in middle school, I took a speech class. One assignment was to perform a two-person, one-act play. I chose a play (I don't remember the name of it) the main character chose to commit suicide. The scene took place in the hospital where the character was in a coma and in the process of deciding whether or not to fight out of the coma and live or to give up, and die.

Throughout the play, the ticking of the second hand on the clock signified that time was short for a decision. The two parts of her conscious battled to decide what path she was eventually going to take. The character thinks about her childhood and the good and bad that has come from it. She thinks about her family and if they would be better off without her. She thinks about the pain, and she thinks about the happy times too. Eventually, she makes a decision; the clock runs out, end of the play... the audience never knows what choice she makes.

This question is like that meme. On the one hand, you have the potential to make better decisions because you're living life over. Alternatively, you could choose not ever to have to experience pain. I was talking to my sister in love last night about disappointment. I've always wondered if my parents were disappointed that I was never able to get married. I wondered if they were ever disappointed that I have a disability.

I know that I make impacts on the people I meet (that's not being cocky-everyone makes an impact...good or bad). However, I doubt my existence changes people in the long run. So, why be here? People are adaptive. Even if I weren't here, someone else would take my place to be a support for others. I'm not sure I would choose to exist...what about you?